A State of Grace
by mysecretthoughts
Summary: Quidditch League competition-Emmeline Vance takes OWLs. When exams mean so much how do you deal?


Quidditch League competition

Team: Ballycastle Bats

Position: Chaser 2 (Reserve)

Character: Emmeline Vance

Subject: OWLs

State of Grace

O. W. Ls . Ordinary Wizarding Levels. For a sixteen year old like Emmeline Vance they were the beginning or end of her world. It wasn't dramatics or hysteria prompting the declaration. It was cold hard fact.

Unlike most her age she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. She had goals and had worked hard for those goals. Before entering Hogwarts she already knew five languages, including the guttural sounds of the goblins. She had sacrificed her holidays to learn another two.

She was blessed enough to to come from a well off family and her parents had provided her with the best tutor in maths, literature and politics. She could out maneuver their solicitor and run their household accounts better than their accountant. She had better manners than most their age and the poise to put them into play effectively.

She gathered every advantage and went after every opportunity available to her. For the light at the end of the tunnel was the Minister of Magic. Someday that most esteemed office would be hers.

She was realistic enough to know it wouldn't be easy. She had two major obstacles in her way. She was female. And while many had tried for the role none had managed to break into the boys club yet.

The second major block in the road was her father. He was a great man, one that fully supported his daughter in her dreams. Unfortunately he was muggleborn. She wasn't one of those that believed in blood purity. She didn't care that her father had grown up in a muggle household. In fact she considered it an opportunity to expand her knowledge. Most wizards did not feel the same. It was a sad fact that their government was controlled by the purebloods and those that weren't pure got the low end of the stick.

And that's where Owls came in. The exams by which every prospective employee was judged. Bad OWL scores could haunt a wizard for the rest of their life. But good scores could open many a door and Emmeline Vance planned to do better than good. She was going to get such high scores that not even the purebloods would be able to turn down a position in the ministry.

Of course that was easier said than done. She gave a discreet sigh as she looked at the notes spread out around her, then further to where her dorm mates sprawled around the table. Exhaustion set heavily upon them all but none were ready to call it a night. Exams started in a mere 30 hours.

"The words are blurring in front of my eyes." Her best friend Janice complained.

Robyn, the shortest of their dorm mates opened her mouth only to be cut off by a wide yawn.

The head of Ravenclaw came in before anyone else could respond. "Girls." he called, heading directly to their table. "It's late. I know you're all worried about OWLs but sleep is as important as the words on those parchments." He said urging them to gather their books.

"But Professor." Janice started.

"I can promise you Miss Strum that nothing you've read in the last hour has actually gotten to your brain." The small man assured her in amusement..

Emmeline spoke up, knowing that he best friend would argue just for the sake of arguing. "He's right."" She said pushing down her own panic at the lost hours of studying. "Weren't you just saying you couldn't even see the page anymore."

"I hate it when you're right and you're always right." She grumbled good naturedly.

Flitwick gave Emmeline a grateful smile. "No studying in your beds and I expect all of you at breakfast. That does not mean I want you back up at the crack of dawn studying. Breakfast will be extended once again."

Emmeline went through her nighttime ablutions, brushing her teeth, applying the cold cream to keep her complexion creamy, and brushing her blond hair until it crackled. Once in bed she placed a cold pack over her eyes to reduce the puffiness. She did all this by rote, her busy mind alternatively organizing the upcoming day and reviewing one of the many runic alphabets.

She figured to get up at five. That would give her two hours revising arithmancy before anyone else got up. They could quiz each other on potions during breakfast with another solid hour of revising the subject after. Another three hours on her worst subject Transfiguration.

She could probably convince the girls to head outside during the lunch hour. They could revise astronomy and point out where the constellations would be if it were night out. The fresh air and sunshine would revive them for the rest of the afternoon. History directly after when they were still awake then runes. They could study charms during dinner and practice some of the spells on the dinnerware. Back to transfiguration and end with potions since it was the first exam. She ignored the rolling of her stomach at the long day as she recited the runes until she fell asleep.

Sunday morning the fifth year Ravens descended the steps to the great hall armed with their potion books. Several of the girls groaned as they spotted the troublemakers of Gryffindor loitering at the bottom.

"Hello girls." Sirius Black called out, flashing them a cocksure smile. "We have a little wager going if you'd care to join us."

"We're taking bets on who's going to break first during OWLs." James Potter added. He pretended to look them over critically. "It's almost always a Ravenclaw. What do you say Vance? Feeling jittery?"

"Get lost Jamie." Sirius spoke up in her defense. "Miss Priss there will be the last one to show distress. She could have the pox but she'll still act like the Queen of England with nary a hair out of place."

She gave him a cool smile while inside she was both irritated and embarrassed. "Its so nice to know you think so much of me Black." She lifted her chin and lead her group into the hall.

"They're right though." Janice pointed out in a low voice. "Ravens always put too much pressure on ourselves. What if we do crack?"

Emmeline gave each of them a stern look. "We have no reason to fear. We have each other and a schedule and if we do feel the need to breakdown then we'll do so in privacy where those idiots won't hear about it."

"Well said Emmeline." Robyn approved. "Lets talk potions."

The rest of the day went as planned with no further interruptions. If any of the others were feeling the choking sensation Emmeline had to fight down constantly they were doing a good of job as she in hiding it.

They forced themselves to bed at midnight where Emmeline completed her nighttime routine with shaking hands. Behind closed and silenced curtains she allowed herself a short cry to relieve tension, making sure to apply the cold pack to her eyes to cover the evidence.

She was awake long before the sun was up the next morning. She dressed carefully, taking comfort in the sharpness of creases and the crispness of her shirt. She reviewed potions one last time before switching to something else in an effort to clear her mind. Inside she was a bundle of twitching nerves, pacing, jiggling her foot and tossing books around the room. Outwardly her friends found her sitting calm and collected with clear eyes and a ready smile.

"Sometimes I hate you." Janice grumbled as she rapidly turned pages without looking at them. She spotted an object one of the boys was clutching and inquired after it.

"It's a dragon's eye." He boasted, holding the smooth stone up. "I bought in yesterday off one of the sixth years. Its supposed to make it easier to understand what you read."

"That's a load of crock." Robyn snorted out a laugh. "If it did work why would he sell it?"

"Well he wouldn't need it anymore would he? He's done with his OWLs." The boy pointed out smugly.

"He's have NEWTs next year won't he?" She countered.

"Don't worry Leo." Emmeline assured the despondent boy while shoving down her own desire for such a talisman. "You don't need it anyway. You have no problem retaining information."

Soon Flitwick was at their side urging them down to breakfast. "You must all eat." he admonished. "I've seen many a student fall out during an exam because they were too nervous to eat."

The group filed down to the great hall at his behest and filled their plates, nibbling on pastries and toast under his watchful eye. Despite the rolling of her stomach Emmeline forced herself to add eggs and bacon, wanting the protein they would provide.

All too soon the tables were cleared and all students shooed from the hall. The fifth years of all four houses milled outside the doors, for once too nervous to scrape with each other. While others paced, mumbled under their breath or wiped their eyes Emmeline stood straight and silent, hands folded at her waist and a calm expression on her face. Distantly she heard someone, probably Black, spit out the hateful nickname Miss Priss. She had to resist the urge to laugh hysterically. Inside she was sobbing, mind blanking as she tried to name all the potions they had made their first year.

The doors behind her opened, causing her heart to stutter hard enough that she had to catch her breath. Taking a deep breath she turned and entered the room, moving toward the front desks as any Ravenclaw would. Blood roared through her ears drowning out the proctors words. She blinked when the exam was suddenly in front of her.

Afterward she sat in the newly reformed lunch room deeply regretting the big breakfast she had forced down. Around her the other fifth years were chatting in relief.

"I don't think it went so bad. It's more the anticipation you know." Janice rambled. "But once you're actually doing it its okay." She said confidently, preferring to bask in the success of her best subject rather than think of the looming exams.

"It was a lot simpler than I'd anticipated." Robyn agreed. "But practicals are this afternoon and I'm pants at brewing."

Emmeline forced encouragement to her lips instead of the harsh words she wanted to say. It hadn't been easy or simple. She had been prepared and was assured that she had achieved a passing, even a good grade. But not that brilliant eye catching score that she needed. 'There's still the practical. You can wow them then,' she assured herself.

The week continued, written exams in the morning and practical exams in the morning. Astronomy was Tuesday night with the written exams that had no practicals taking place on Wednesday. Spare time was spent cramming for the next exam.

With each passed exam Emmeline was becoming more and more despondent. As always she kept her outward appearance serene and calm, responding in turn to each of her friends as tension was released and they became happier and livelier. At night and in privacy her time of tears came longer and longer as her dreams slipped from her fingers.

Friday afternoon came and with it the last exam. Soon the entire fifth year class was rushing out the main doors and into the sunshine, whooping in excitement and relief. Emmeline followed sedately, pleased despite her own depression that the staff had thought to set up refreshments on the lawn for them.

"Look at them." Sirius Black came up behind her. "A simple week of exams and the lot of them look like they've been through the ringer. Pale with dark circles, wrinkled and untucked clothing. Even the purebloods. If their parents could see them now."

"Not you." She pointed out.

He shrugged. "Yeah well I didn't care enough to be bothered by some foolish exams." He gave her a long look. "Now I know you cared too much but here you are. When even the best of us are out there looking bedraggled and careworn Miss Priss stands here with nary a slump, every hair in place." He leaned closer. "You don't need to worry about grades Emmeline Vance. It will be your presence, your state of grace, that will win you the ministry jobs."

She stared after him in shock, some of the tension coiled deep inside unwinding just a little. With a smile she walked down the steps to join the celebration.


End file.
